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Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter…the Workplace

 

In this humorously diabolical and incendiary self-help manual, a longtime veteran of corporate life exposes what makes work hell for you and why. Learn to identify who exactly is bedeviling you on the job, and what you can do about them.

Mr. Crowley sticks a pitchfork into a legion of corporate conceits—scathingly eviscerating impression management, meetings, workplace jargon, office parties, the perfidious perils of PowerPoint presentations, and why anybody looking for salvation and satisfaction on the job is damned to personal and professional perdition.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

PART I: WHY WORK IS HELL

1. What in the Hell?

2. Armored Saints, Lost Souls, and Cunning Devils

3. Work Like Hell

4. The Devil Made Me Do It

5. Credibility: Hard to Win, Easy as Hell to Lose

6. Jargon: The Devil’s Diction

7. The Business of Betrayal

8. Impression Management

9. Working Versus Working It

10. Levels of Devils

PART II: WHAT MAKES WORK HELL

1. Hell is Other People

2. Work Isn’t Playing Office

3. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

4. Signal-to-Noise Ratio

5. GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out

6. The Reward for Good Work Is…More Work

7. In Workplace Hell, You Only Win Battles, Never the War

8. Brimstone Bosses

9. Winners & Losers

10. The Ideal Employee Is a Robot

PART III: WHO MAKES WORK HELL

1. The Perfect Workplace Devil

2. The First Circle: Dummies

3. The Second Circle: Killjoys

4. The Third Circle: Sloths

5. The Fourth Circle: Nutjobs

6. The Fifth Circle: Cowards

7. The Sixth Circle: Courtiers

8. The Seventh Circle: Frauds

9. The Eighth Circle: Tyrants

10. The Ninth Circle: The Psychopathway to Hell

PART IV

To Hell & Back

Postscript: Pandemic Pandemonium

Appendix A: The Infernal Index

Appendix B: Crowley’s Laws of Workplace Hell

Damien Crowley is a lifelong student of the human condition, devoting his time and remaining lifeforce to reclaiming lost souls torn asunder by the manifold contradictions of wage labor. He has also worked several years in Infernal Communications for Rend, Butcher & Flay after getting a master’s degree in both Organizational Metaphysics and Applied Nihilism at Miskatonic University. He currently lives in the City of Dis.

© 2020 DAMIEN CROWLEY | Published by ASTER BOOKS™